Because basic math is complicated

Matthew 18:19-22
Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?
Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven"

I'm trying to get a head start on my New Year's Resolution (of being more forgiving) by planting little peace seeds in areas where I normally plant landmines. My youngest sisters think that their older sister and I hate each others' living guts. Sometimes we do. Sometimes we're serious jerks about it. Actually, I have a whole bucket full that I'm not proud of when it comes to getting along with my own sisters sometimes.
Facebook is the least personal way to discuss the most personal things, so that's the line of communication I chose to open things up between us. I just said, (this is paraphrased so I don't have to explain inside jokes) "Hey, the girls think we hate each other, let's work on being friends. Also The Office sucks without Micheal Scott."
She wrote back, "Yeah. The Office is a shame now :-/ "

In some versions of the bible, I only have to forgive 77 times. Unfortunately, I memorized the 70 TIMES 7 one. Sometimes I feel like I can't even make it to 7. Not just with the sisters, but in general.

Then I was a bit enlightened for the first time by verse 20 [For when 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there I am with them.] I guess I could just aim for the smaller number, the 2-3. I trust my gathering skills. It's the "In My Name" part that I'm nervous about. How do you invite people who won't be in your presence to be in God's presence?

I figure all I can do is continue to try to expose the good of God through me. Which will only work if I am a peaceful sister instead of a bratty one. And, lately I am nothing but bratty.

I'm starting to misspell like crazy so it's bed time!

Resolution #1

This might be my New Year’s resolution verse:

Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone,

forgive him,

so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

I want to focus on forgiveness this year and this day, this moment, really. I am such an angry person. I wanted to really dig deep into the feel of forgiveness to write this post, so like an idiot, I dwelt on the past.

In reminiscent fit of rage, I thought about one my most angry and hurt moments, ever—finding out that whom I thought was Mine kissed a very ugly girl. I still rage when I think about it. (Years later. [I blame my period.]) I imagined what I would have thought if my dear Heart-Breaker-Bryan had died soon after this, like he almost did. (Foul play.) It just wouldn’t have made sense to stay mad at him. He would be dead. He would feel nothing, no hate, no hurt, no persistent (I need a stronger word than that) love disguised as fury. It would be like heaving the heaviest of emotions known to the soul up a mountain and then dropping them off the highest cliff.

[[ I could have just left the weight at the bottom of the mountain. ]]

In the scenario in which Bryan lives, (the real one) it would be like heaving the heaviest of emotions known to the soul up a mountain and then stacking them on top of each other. And then squirming underneath it. And giving it a dirty look like Second Graders give each other when they steal claimed seats. Like, “Hey you sneaky punk, this is where I belong!”

Neither scenario does anybody any good. Well, it doesn't do me any good and it doesn't do my Hated any bad. So even my evil intentions can't prevail.

[Thank God.]

Anyway!

This year I want to leave useless things on the bottoms of my mountains. I understand that at times, I will have to carry heavy things, but I refuse to carry useless things.

You can skip this part, reader, it's just a list of people and nonliving things on my Forgive List:

-People who chew loud (Satan)

-My parents. (They didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just a bratty 22 year old teenager. If I’m clever enough to make up things to be mad at, I’m clever enough to make up things to forgive.)

-My job for being boring (It pays the bills for now and won’t last forever.)

-Maybe myself a little bit (for being a scattered raggedy mess)

-Day light savings time. (Sun light will come back in the spring!!!)

-People who have humiliated me.

-People who need help when I don’t want to give it/think I can give it.

-My period

Ok reader, come back.

Thought:

Have I ever been forgiven (other than by the blood of Christ)?

I believe that patience is a form of forgiveness, like preventative forgiveness. I feel a little guilty but so relieved when people let me take my time. I want to thank these people with my whole heart. Wow, I have been forgiven so many times. I want to be that forgiving in 2012.

This verse energizes me for the coming new year and my path of forgiveness…

Isaiah 43:18-19

Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past. See,

I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up;

do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.

Hobbies.

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life.
Just make sure that you don't use this freedom
as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom.
Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows."
Galatians 5:13 {The Message}

"... do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh..."
Galatians 5:13 {NIV}

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what we do with our time {as I said in my last post}.
I have been thinking in particular about hobbies that take up our "spare" time.
How does God feel about our hobbies?

"The Lord has given them special skills as engravers, designers, embroiderers
in blue, purple, and scarlet thread on fine linen cloth, and weavers.
They excel as craftsmen and as designers."
Exodus 35:35 {NLT}

This is so interesting to me {partly because of my interest in clothing, ha!}.
God gives us all special skills, passions, interests... he gives us talents to use and {we hope} that these talents will come out in our jobs/hobbies.

The problem I've been facing with my hobbies lately is that I'm letting them take up all my free time and leaving no time for God.
Which has been leaving me in quite a terrible spot...
Isn't it sad that you notice how much more negative and stressed you become when you aren't spending the time with God that you should be, but it's still so easy to fall into the cycle of not making the time?

"No one can serve two masters..."
Matthew 6:24a {NIV}

We need to be sure that we are not letting our hobbies become a master of our lives.
So, how can I serve those around me with my hobby?
How can I show God's love through my hobby?
I'm still trying to figure this out... but it's just some questions for you to ponder.

"So I saw that there is nothing better for people than to be happy in their work.
That is why we are here! No one will bring us back from death to enjoy life after we die."
Ecclesiastes 3:22 {NIV}

{Sorry for such a scattered post! Just thinking out loud}

I'm a bumper sticker.

I'm just going to admit that I hate pushy Jesus bumper stickers. It's one of my top 10 flaws as a believer.
Yesterday I saw one that said "Keep Christ in Christmas" and thought "Yeah or we can keep ourselves to ourselves. Jerk bumper sticker. What are you some kind of angel? I have plenty of Christ in Christmas. And plenty of Christ in General."

To which the bumper sticker said, "You really need to step back and take a look at your thoughts. Do you really think just because they're in your head that they aren't harmful?"

I realized that hating a bumper sticker was one thing, but having a debate with it to justify my hate was whole new level of Need-to-be-in-prayer.

Here's the thing. This has been the most stressful December I think I've ever had. It keeps catching me off guard, like, WHO IS THIS GRINCH WOMAN WALKING AROUND INSIDE OF YOU, ME?!? It's only been stressful because I'm working a lot of over time at my harmless little factory job. I think it's a societal-sin to complain about being employed, but hey, sometimes we want more time than money, right? Let me just admit that I'm a whiner.
I have nothing to Grinch about. But look at me go.

[I just wish that bumper sticker hadn't been so confrontational.]

To get my head on straighter, I read about how Christ even got into Christmas in the first place... [Get it? I read the book of Matthew.]

Matthew 1:19-24

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: ”The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”-- which means, “God with us.”

When Joseph awoke, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.

Finding out that Mary was pregnant was probably one of the most stressful Decembers that Joseph had ever had. It probably caught him off guard. If I were Joseph...I just don't know how I would be able to remain that calm. We all have our societal-sins to stress about, but have you ever had a pregnant wife that you didn't knock up? Joseph. What a stand up guy! What a man of faith! He inspires me every time I read about him. I want to have a faith like Joseph's on the night Jesus was born.

What I'm getting at is that if Joseph could keep Christ in Christmas, I can too.




Here's a little side note verse to pray on while you're in a long line at target, or when your back hurts from wrapping presents, or during any other Wonderful Things that you can't help but hate, momentarily:

Phillippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your mind in Christ, (you know, the one from Christmas?) Jesus.

Unreliable

I'm sorry I pulled the "I'll do this when I have time" card. Man, if you were annoyed by that, I can't imagine how God feels during most of my daily life! Yikes. I need to stop putting off God, and I need to stop putting off his work.

I need to be the hands and feet, right?

Well for the most part, lately, I've had my arms folded up and my feet firmly planted in misery. It's just where I've chosen to stay for a while. In Pout-ville.

The last verse I posted sparked my inspiration to not be so whiney over NOTHING.

Girl, stop hating your job, you were recently unemployed.
Girl, stop pushing your friends away, you will end up with zero.
Girl, stop stressing over wild and crazy dreams, you will start to hate them.

[Ecclesiastes 3]
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

In my last post, all I really meant was that I was mourning at the wrong time. Nobody likes that. No body needs that. That is not God shining through me, that's selfishness and plain old..YUCK. Sometimes your season is boring, sometimes painful, sometimes hopeless, sometimes joyful. Every season calls on Jesus.

I get into my little moods every time I wonder, "God. But why am I sitting through this?" ["This" is usually nothing more than a long line, or someone chewing gum loud, or traffic, or class, or work, or money or something that is pathetic to complain about.]

Well, Other Whiners (or is it just me?)

[Ecclesiastes 3:9-11]
⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Did you hear that?!?!?!?!?!?

He has made everything beautiful IN ITS TIME!



I just don't know what else to say. Beautiful in its time. Mmmmmmmmm that is good to believe!

A quickie

I brought upon myself a bit of a dark moment last night. [Miss Raging Grumpy Pants]
I just want to take a moment to praise the God who gives me good company and who gives me and grace.
I will write more this afternoon when I have better time!
Speaking of time, here's a preview what's on my mind...

Eccesiastes 3:4
(there is a) time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to grieve and a time to dance

It's dance and praise time!